My 2nd down time in my life, I'm very tired

This was an mentality and emotional collapse at this moment, I was failed to protect what I having to preserve the LOVE, HAPPINESS, CHEERFUL, TOUCHES... while I'm focus what I'm serve them for the BEST. From passion drop till felt angry, hate, sad, unprotected, annoying... I totally lost of control, I really cant define what I am, why me, what next, how will going to do... I just tired, tired and tired...

I'm tried to drunk off my-self to escaping the reality but failed, why things happened all in one shot, everything single bad things keep coming to me and I felt tired, I'm not superman to defeat everything, I'm very tired...

Sometimes I'm just wanna find a "树洞" that I trusted but nope at all, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired...

Sometimes felt that putting a lot of shield really heavy and tired... just the burden keeping heavy and heavier... I'm very tired...